Triple Play

It's nice that I maintain a busy social life when my working life is at a complete and total standstill. In the past week, I've gone on two third dates, one of which is definitely a last one.

I went out with the sparkless guy on Monday and he offered to cook me a casual dinner at his apartment. Again, I had a great time but wasn't really feeling it. He snuck in a quick kiss at the end of the night but it didn't do anything to change my mind. The funniest part is that I don't expect that I'm going to hear from him. I can't say why and I wouldn't bet my life on it, but I'll bet you a dollar that he's gone.

Saturday afternoon, the day after date one, Randy called and told me he wanted to see me again. Soon. As in, that night. He was going out with a bunch of friends and asked me to join. I know it's against the rules but I had planned nothing more than sitting on my couch and thought a nice dinner would probably be more fun. And I was right.

We went for sushi with three of his friends (one couple and another guy) and I kind of forgot that I had only met Randy 24 hours earlier. It was easy and interesting but I realized quickly that I run in very different circles than these guys. After dinner, they spent a good twenty minutes deciding where we would go next and the only choice were clubs I had never been to - and in some cases, never heard of.

I'm a wine bar/dark lounge/small music venue kind of girl. Clubs, coke and house music just aren't my thing. Randy and I had spoken about it the night before and he knew that (and he also told me that he only indulges in the clubs and house music part of the last sentence) and kept asking if I was okay with the plan. I was. I mean, I'm not about to head to the Meatpacking district with my friends on a weekly basis but I'm game for just about anything and who doesn't like to dance. As it turned out, we didn't go to a club but a bar near me to meet up with some of their other friends and it ended up being a pretty chill night.

Of course, he was fully decked in his silver finery and I got such a laugh when one of his friends told him he desperately needed a woman's touch. I tried to keep my face in check but I just couldn't. I'm certainly in no position - on date two - to make fashion demands - but I loved that I had a least one of his friends on my side.

So that was date two. Randy is leaving on business for a week so he wanted to cram in one more date. We went to dinner last night and I may be starting to look past his clothing and accessory choices.

First, I just like hanging out with him. He's funny and interesting and even though we're quite opposite in a number of respects, I think we see things in a similar way. Where we differ, I like hearing his perspective because it's nothing I would come up with on my own.

Second, he is (or seems to be) very honest and straightforward. He wanted to talk to me about the whole club situation on Saturday night. He wanted to be perfectly clear that he spent a good part of the past three years screwing around and partying but that he's not interested in that anymore. He was afraid that I had gotten the wrong impression and was worried that it might have turned me off. He said a bunch of sweet things and said he liked me and liked spending time with me and I just liked that he was comfortable enough to be up front about it. Of course, he could be snowing me but it's working so far.

Finally, he always smells like soap and he's a lot of fun to smooch. I'm still trying to get past the outside but right now, I definitely dig the inside.

Ambush Makeunder

So date number one with Randy was good. He's cute and fun and super-interesting. The only drawback, and it's a big one, is that his style is cheesy with a capital CHEESE. There was a bracelet and a necklace and a ring, not to mention crazy gelled 80s hair and square-toed boots. Wrap that up with a button-down shirt and a too-large peek of chest hair and you have some idea of what I was dealing with.

I know that I can suggest less "mannery" and hide his hair gel, but is it too much to ask for a guy that comes fully assembled? I'm not interested in a project but I may be interested in him. I'm sure we'll go out again but without a serious wardrobe adjustment, I don't know what our future holds.

It's Chemical

As I mentioned in my second bullet point few days ago, I went on a second date with a guy who was less than attractive. And I had a great time. We just went out for a late dinner after work (or after his work, I should say) and it was really nice. The problem is that even though I have a great time with him, I feel absolutely zero spark. I have no interest in making out with him or even holding his hand but I like being around him and hearing from him gives me a little smile. I guess two dates is to early to make a determination, and I should probably smooch him before I decide if I'm interested or not, but is physical attraction something that can develop? Or do you have to have some teeny tiny seed of it in the first place in hopes of it ever growing?

We have tentative plans for next week but I'm worried that I'll have fun but still not want to date him. Is it possible, at this age, to tell someone that you just want to be friends and really mean it?

I also mentioned (third bullet point) that I have a date with a guy I met on Match about four months ago and who blew me off. Here's the backstory: We met on Match and made plans to go out on a Wednesday. He texted me the day before to say he was extending his trip and could we go out the following Wednesday. Sure, no problem. On that Monday, Dr. Crate and Barrel showed up and asked if he could (finally!) take me out that week. Of course, I was in no condition to say no to him and when he said that he was only available on Wednesday, I crossed my fingers and said I was free. It turned out not to be a big deal since I never heard from the guy from Match again.

A week later - when it became clear that Dr. CB was not going to be in the picture - I texted the guy from Match and said that I kind of, sort of thought we might have, maybe had plans but wasn't sure what happened. If he was still around, call me, blah, blah, desperate, blah. And nothing. Until last week.

I saw him at a fancy party and immediately recognized him. He was talking to two friends, one of whom approached me and said I was pretty. It was 1:30 in the morning. We're all pretty then. The friend introduced me to his boys, including my guy from Match - whose name is now Randy. I said hello, shook hands but played it cool. I almost lost it when I saw Randy recognize me but I acted like we had no history. While I continued talking to his friend, Randy turned his back to me to talk to the other friend, no doubt to say that he was supposed to have gone on a date with me a few months ago.

Randy's friend told me that he lived out of state so we could never date but that I should go out with his boy - and he grabbed Randy and made him turn around to face me. "I already know your boy," I said. Clearly, Randy had thought he was going to get away with it but I'm pretty good with faces so no chance. He told his friends that we were supposed to go out. I added the part where he blew me off and his friends jumped in with "Dude! You fucked up! She's hot!"

Randy's awesome excuse involved broken bones but he swore he was going to call me to take me out. His friend said he was really a nice guy and I told him to prove it. He promised he would call the next day - he still had my phone number - and he actually did. He was on a business trip all week and texted to find out if there was any food I didn't eat so he could plan accordingly. It's so easy but crap like that makes me happy. Full report on whether Randy is actually a nice guy tomorrow.

Life Hash

So much to catch up on and so little time. I'll give you a brief outline and fill in the details shortly.

• I am more out of a job than I originally thought. Even though my firm promised me some hourly work, it hasn't amounted to what I expected. At this point, unemployment checks would be a windfall - and far less stressful - so I'm winding everything up and calling it a day. Anyone need an attorney?
• I went on a JDate last week. Yes, I gave in and paid for one measly month and ended up on one measly date. He walked in and was just not attractive. Bad hair, worse teeth and an average wardrobe. I can't believe I'm saying this but date two is tonight. In a half hour. Thus the rush.
• I went to a black-tie affair last week and ran into a guy I met on Match back in February and who completely blew me off. He realized the error of his ways and we're going out on Friday.
• I may have a crush on the boy that I met on JDate, felt zero chemistry and ended up in a beach house with last weekend. I saw him last night and it reminded me of the Friends episode where Rachel realizes "Ross" became "Ro-oo-ooss". Dammit.

Off with the not-so-cute guy. I promise detailed posts when I have a minute. Where in the world did I find the time to do anything when I was gainfully employed?

Taken Out of Context

Last weekend I was out in Fire Island and it was another episode of TinyE - This is Your Dating Life. I went out with Zilch and another friend of a friend (who has become an actual friend which is always nice) and I knew a bunch of the other people in the house just from "around." One was a guy that I briefly dated two separate times about seven years ago that I've always been friendly with. I may have mentioned him here at one point but I'm too lazy to dig up the posts. You're not missing anything, I promise.

Another guy was someone I met on JDate and went out with once back in November. I complained about him here. For those of you uninterested in clicking, we went out and there was zero spark. At least from where I stood. Apparently, he was on a different date because he asked to see me again before the check showed up. I couldn't imagine how he could have thought I would have agreed based on my behavior and I began to question what kind of vibe I put out there.

So Thursday afternoon (after a margarita lunch), I took my tipsy self to Bed, Bath and Beyond to buy a beach (whoa alliteration) towel and ran into him. He needed a beach towel too. It's kismet. I'd actually run into him at a few events over the months and we've always been cordial but never had a real conversation. Until the beach towels.

On Friday, I traveled by myself and ran into him again on the ferry. Since Zilch and my other friend weren't there yet, we spent the afternoon hanging out and he grilled me a burger for dinner. Which brings me to my point: Context.

I think one reason I have so much trouble on JDate or Match or whatever is that I have no context for anyone I meet. Not that I'm eager to mash anyone into a particular slot but when I meet someone at a bar or on the street or in the park, I have some idea of who they are by how they interact with the people they're with, or the people that I'm with. You can see them in an entirely different light. This isn't to say I'm in love with this guy or anything, but I think he would have gotten a second date had I met him anywhere other than JDate the first time around.

Speaking of someone who would never get a second date under any circumstance, the guy with the tongue that was too big for his mouth and not in a good way was out at the beach too. He was friends with some people in my house and managed to creep around more often than I would have liked. The best part is that we completely ignored each other. At one point, he was standing about three feet away and I think I looked right through him. I am twelve.

Dog Blog

Since I have nothing interesting to report, I thought you might want to see my dog. Despite the fact that she looks like the saddest dog on the planet, I promise you she was perky and puppy-like only a little while later. She's doing much better and is finally started to get back to her old self. And for the record, I do not sound like a twelve-year-old girl in real life. Enjoy.

Cold and Rainy

It's cold and rainy outside and that's kind of how I'm feeling on the inside. A little bit. I was supposed to volunteer for an outdoor fundraiser today but it was cancelled on account of sogginess and I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself.

As I mentioned, I'm working on an hourly basis which means I have all the stress and all of the obligations I had last week, but only 10% of the salary. Not exactly the motivation I need to get up, shower and haul ass across town. Since I was planning on being Blackberry-free today anyway, I gave all of the stuff I was working on to my boss yesterday and I'm torn between telling her I'm actually available and letting her fend for herself. On the one hand my boss has been on my side in all of this mess and I don't want to screw her or ruin her day, but since my firm hasn't really been worrying about me, I don't know that I feel compelled to worry about them.

Speaking of worry, my sweet little pupito is not doing well. After the surgery, the vet told us that she thought she was able to get clean margins on the tumor (meaning that they were able to cut out the entire malignancy). Well, it turns out that wasn't the case. Not only was there some cancer left behind, but we found out that it spread to her lymph nodes and that it's a particularly aggressive form. At no point, based on our conversations with all of the doctors, did we expect this. The bottom line is that without treatment, she has no more than six months. We're meeting with the oncologist on Monday to find out what our options are but we have no intention of letting this dog suffer. We just want whatever time she has left to be good time. I'm just too heartbroken to deal right now.